Wife: Whenever I sing classical why do you go and stand in the balcony.
Husband: To ensure that our neighbours don't think I'm fucking you forcefully!
Newly weds sleep - LIPS to LIPS!
Old ones - HIPS to HIPS!
My smart phone just auto-corrected "fuck you" to "whatever you say, honey"!
A share broker caught his wife in bed with her boyfriend, shocked he asked his wife, "What are you doing with him?"
His wife replied, "Darling, I've gone public!"
The wife comes back home from the doctor and says to her husband, "Honey, I have a sad news - the gynecologist told me not have sex for three weeks".
Husband: And what the dentist say?
Playboy is planning coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. Every month the centerfold shall be the same woman!
This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them.
"You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money."
Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."
A man and his wife are in the bedroom one night and they have just finished the sex act.
"Honey, did you enjoy the sex we just made?", he asks.
"Yes, of course, Dear. Didn't you hear me laughing?"
Why does a bride smile when she's walking down the aisle?
She knows she's given her last blow job!
What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
