An old man married a young girl. On the wedding night, he showed five fingers to his wife.
Wife: Ooh.. Darling! 5 times?
Old man: No dear, choose which one you prefer to start with!
What do you call a group of people where 2 people are thinking of sex and all other are thinking of food and drinks?
.
..
...
A Wedding!
A daughter-in-law and mother-in-law were engaged in a verbal spat.
Mother-in-law: I have carried him for 9 months.
Daughter-in-law: Only 3.5 kgs? I carry him every night and he weighs 80 kgs now.
Sex is the price women pay for marriage;
And marriage is the price men pay for sex!
Q: If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have?
A: Most likely, divorce proceedings!
A guy to his friend, "My wife and I have what we call Olympic sex".
Friend: Sounds great!
"Not really", the guy replies. "It only happens once every four years."
What's the big deal in same sex marriages? I've been married to the same woman for 25 years and had the same old sex all that time!
Wives are good at only 2 things - Cooking and F**king!
No jokes!
You never know what's Cooking in their Heads;
And you'll never know when they start F**king your Happiness!
Men get frustrated because they don't understand how women think.
Women get frustrated because they understand how men think.
In USA when couples go to bed they say, "Good Night My Love"!
In UK, they say, "Sweet Dreams, Darling"!
In India, It's generally said, "Kundi Lagai?" (Bolted the door?)
