Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has got one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks!
Man: When I donate blood, I don't extract it myself, the nurse does it for me.
Nurse: I understand sir; but this is a sperm bank, it doesn't work that way here!
Jeans Ka Dukh Aur Pyajame Ka Sukh...
Gaand Mein Khujli Ke Waqt Hi Pata Chalta Hai!
Since I have heard so many stories about wives having headaches,
I assume a married man's idea of foreplay would be half an hour of applying balm on his wife's forehead!
I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted.
I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic.
I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough.
But I spend 50 bucks on a blowjob for myself and she goes fucking nuts!
Women, I can't figure them out!
Seeing how some people wear masks, now I understand why condoms fail!
I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having sex, like: "I'm tired", `I'm washing my hair", "I've got a headache", I'm your sister-in-law!
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night, I fucked a girl named Penny. Is that spooky or what?
Don't stop when you are tired.
Stop when you are done.
~ Sunny Leone
Motivational Speaker
Top 6 reasons why men prefer guns over women:
* You admire a friend's gun tell him so he will probably let you try it out a few times.
* Your gun will stay with you even if you have run out of ammunition.
* You can trade an old 44 for a new 22
* A gun doesn't ask, "Do these grips make me look fat?"
* A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
And the most important: You can buy a silencer for a gun!
