If you could read my mind, I'm pretty sure you'd either be traumatized or sexually aroused or both!
A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?"
"Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave.
"Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade!"
NEWS Flash:
Viagra Shipment Stolen.
Cops looking for a gang of hardened criminals!
What is the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A whore will have sex with anybody,
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A bitch will have sex with anybody except you!
Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has got one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks!
Man: When I donate blood, I don't extract it myself, the nurse does it for me.
Nurse: I understand sir; but this is a sperm bank, it doesn't work that way here!
Jeans Ka Dukh Aur Pyajame Ka Sukh...
Gaand Mein Khujli Ke Waqt Hi Pata Chalta Hai!
Since I have heard so many stories about wives having headaches,
I assume a married man's idea of foreplay would be half an hour of applying balm on his wife's forehead!
I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted.
I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic.
I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough.
But I spend 50 bucks on a blowjob for myself and she goes fucking nuts!
Women, I can't figure them out!
Seeing how some people wear masks, now I understand why condoms fail!
