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Upload to Facebook Your mind is a garden.
Your thoughts are the seeds.
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.
Good Morning! -
Upload to Facebook Pro Tip:
The easiest way to enter a woman's heart is by saying those three words:
"You lost weight!" -
Upload to Facebook My wife has stopped eating junk food as she's trying to lose weight. She requested me to be supportive.
So as a good husband, I'm now eating junk food for both of us! -
Upload to Facebook Of course, men and women can be friends without being attracted to each other.
It's called "marriage!" -
Upload to Facebook Me: Dude, I heard that you were in hospital. What happened?
Colleague: I had a severe joint problem.
Me: Arthritis?
Colleague: Na, just weed! -
Upload to Facebook My coffee maker is so loud that for a few seconds I can't hear my wife screaming, and that's the best gift coffee can give me! -
Upload to Facebook A highly dangerous virus called "Weekly Overload Recreational Killer" (WORK) is currently going around. If you come in contact with this WORK virus, you should immediately go to the nearest "Biological Anxiety Relief" (BAR) center to take antidotes known as "Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract" (WINE) or "Radioactive Unwork Medicine"(RUM) or "Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter"(BEER) or "Vaccine Official Depression Killing Antigen"(VODKA).
Please share it to raise awareness. Sharing is caring! -
Upload to Facebook Start each day with a positive thought like, "I can go back to bed in about 16 hours!" -
Upload to Facebook The only reason I was friends with some people in high school was that I saw them 5 days a week! -
Upload to Facebook When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows and not the flower!
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