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Upload to Facebook If you sin 90 times, you will only get caught 50% of the time.
Because sin 90 = cot 45! -
Upload to Facebook Doctor: Bataiye Kahan Dard Ho Raha Hai?
Boy: Yeh Dekhiye Doctor Sahab, Message 'Seen' Hai Par 'No Reply'! -
Upload to Facebook The bravest man I ever knew once asked his wife to calm down and be quiet.
However, he was hospitalized seconds later with several broken ribs, a shattered kneecap and a severe concussion. But what a brave man! -
Upload to Facebook The reason I want to get ahead in life is so that I can be lazy once and for all! -
Upload to Facebook Friend: Come fast, your wife is suddenly squinting her eyes, her lips are in a weird shape and her head is in a terrible angle. I think she's having a stroke.
Me: Na, she's just taking a selfie! -
Upload to Facebook The last time I was someone's type, I was donating blood! -
Upload to Facebook She dimmed the lights. She leaned in. She looked straight into my eyes. I kissed her.
And now I am arrested by the police for misbehaving with the optician! -
Upload to Facebook My neighbour banged on my door at 3 am, screaming and shouting hysterically, the poor fella...
Luckily, I was up practicing my drums at the time! -
Upload to Facebook Did you hear about the seafood restaurant that will give you calamari in exchange for money?
They practice 'squid pro quo'! -
Upload to Facebook Things not to say on a first date:
1. How much do you weigh?
2. I forgot my wallet
3. Do you know my wife?
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