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Upload to Facebook They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun! -
Upload to Facebook Sometimes to find a needle in a haystack all you have to do is...
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burn down the haystack! -
Upload to Facebook Only your girlfriend & stock markets have the unique ability to convert your grin into a frown in less than a moment! -
Upload to Facebook Technically pessimists are optimists because they are optimistic that shitty things will continue to happen! -
Upload to Facebook How interesting is this, that as a kid, you loved zoos because you loved animals.
As an adult, you hate zoos because you love animals! -
Upload to Facebook We Indians complain that our leaders don't keep their election promises & Americans are praying that their leader shouldn't keep his election promises! -
Upload to Facebook Every morning when the alarm goes off, I wake up & say "it's time to chase my dreams!" And then I press the snooze button & go back to sleep! -
Upload to Facebook If you get a new job before you quit your old one, it's considered responsible.
But if you do that with your girlfriend, it's called "cheating"! -
Upload to Facebook I never realized how short a month is until I started paying rent! -
Upload to Facebook Jail and Prison are synonyms, but Jailer and Prisoner are antonyms!
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