• I've always had an irrational fear of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over it!Upload to Facebook
    I've always had an irrational fear of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over it!
  • I've been screwing all weekend and my wrist is killing me.</br>
Installing drywall is hard work!Upload to Facebook
    I've been screwing all weekend and my wrist is killing me.
    Installing drywall is hard work!
  • I called her last night and told her, `I miss you honey!` and her mother replied, `Honey is sleeping, you are talking with the bee!`Upload to Facebook
    I called her last night and told her, "I miss you honey!" and her mother replied, "Honey is sleeping, you are talking with the bee!"
  • A boy sent a message to another boy:</br>
Stop texting my girlfriend.</br>
The second boy replied: Chill bro, she is dating both of us. You are my boyfriend-in-law!Upload to Facebook
    A boy sent a message to another boy:
    Stop texting my girlfriend.
    The second boy replied: Chill bro, she is dating both of us. You are my boyfriend-in-law!
  • Unless a man is in diapers, you can't change him!Upload to Facebook
    Unless a man is in diapers, you can't change him!
  • Once you reach a certain level of stupidity, you will never lose another argument ever again!Upload to Facebook
    Once you reach a certain level of stupidity, you will never lose another argument ever again!
  • When visiting someone sick:<br/>
Other Countries: Get well soon.<br/>
India: I know someone who died with the same illness!Upload to Facebook
    When visiting someone sick:
    Other Countries: Get well soon.
    India: I know someone who died with the same illness!
  • Let's face it:<br/>
After Monday and Tuesday...<br/>
even the calendar says - W T F!Upload to Facebook
    Let's face it:
    After Monday and Tuesday...
    even the calendar says - W T F!
  • I once met an astronaut who was claustrophobic.<br/>
Turns out he just needed a little space!Upload to Facebook
    I once met an astronaut who was claustrophobic.
    Turns out he just needed a little space!
  • I started a band called `Blanket`.<br/>
It's a cover band!Upload to Facebook
    I started a band called "Blanket".
    It's a cover band!
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