I've always had an irrational fear of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over it! |
I've been screwing all weekend and my wrist is killing me. Installing drywall is hard work! |
I called her last night and told her, "I miss you honey!" and her mother replied, "Honey is sleeping, you are talking with the bee!" |
A boy sent a message to another boy: Stop texting my girlfriend. The second boy replied: Chill bro, she is dating both of us. You are my boyfriend-in-law! |
Unless a man is in diapers, you can't change him! |
Once you reach a certain level of stupidity, you will never lose another argument ever again! |
When visiting someone sick: Other Countries: Get well soon. India: I know someone who died with the same illness! |
Let's face it: After Monday and Tuesday... even the calendar says - W T F! |
I once met an astronaut who was claustrophobic. Turns out he just needed a little space! |
I started a band called "Blanket". It's a cover band! |