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Upload to Facebook Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has got one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks! -
Upload to Facebook Man: When I donate blood, I don't extract it myself, the nurse does it for me.
Nurse: I understand sir; but this is a sperm bank, it doesn't work that way here! -
Upload to Facebook I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted.
I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic.
I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough.
But I spend 50 bucks on a blowjob for myself and she goes fucking nuts!
Women, I can't figure them out! -
Upload to Facebook Seeing how some people wear masks, now I understand why condoms fail! -
Upload to Facebook I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having sex, like: "I'm tired", `I'm washing my hair", "I've got a headache", I'm your sister-in-law! -
Upload to Facebook I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night, I fucked a girl named Penny. Is that spooky or what? -
Upload to Facebook Don't stop when you are tired.
Stop when you are done.
~ Sunny Leone
Motivational Speaker -
Upload to Facebook Top 6 reasons why men prefer guns over women:
* You admire a friend's gun tell him so he will probably let you try it out a few times.
* Your gun will stay with you even if you have run out of ammunition.
* You can trade an old 44 for a new 22
* A gun doesn't ask, "Do these grips make me look fat?"
* A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
And the most important: You can buy a silencer for a gun! -
Upload to Facebook After researchers have found that women jog without bra get bigger breasts, some men have started running without underwear! -
Upload to Facebook According to a survey, women feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than in front of women. Because women are too judgemental, while men are just grateful!
