If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have? Divorce proceedings, most likely! |
What's it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage! |
Wife: Whenever I sing classical why do you go and stand in the balcony. Husband: To ensure that our neighbours don't think I'm fucking you forcefully! |
Newly weds sleep - LIPS to LIPS! Old ones - HIPS to HIPS! |
My smart phone just auto-corrected "fuck you" to "whatever you say, honey"! |
The wife comes back home from the doctor and says to her husband, "Honey, I have a sad news - the gynecologist told me not have sex for three weeks". Husband: And what the dentist say? |
One of the side effects of Viagra is a headache. Every time, I take a pill, my wife gets a headache! |
Marriage vows in short: I won't fuck other people, but I'll fuck you and your life! |
BEFORE MARRIAGE: Roses are Red, Sky is Blue; You're beautiful, I love you! AFTER MARRIAGE: Roses are Dead, I have Flu; Don't eat my head, F**k you! |
It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them! |