Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. |
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year. |
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back. |
Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus. |
Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell. |
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. |
Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it. |
Politicians and drapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. |
God writes a lot of comedy, the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. |
Adulthood is like losing your mother in the grocery store for your whole life. |