A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. -Chauncey Mitchell Depew
I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.
-Garry Shandling
It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
-Tallulah Bankhead
Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.
-Yul Brynner
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
-Ronald Knox
I was told that when you hit forty men stop looking at you. It's true, until you slip on a mini-skirt.
-Mariella Frostrup
We all worry about the population explosion, but we don't worry about it at the right time.
-Arthur Hoppe
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
-Albert Einstein
A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part.
-Redd Foxx
Graze on my lips, and if those hills are dry, Stray lower where the pleasant fountains lie.
-William Shakespeare