It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman. -Alexandre Dumas
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials. -Ronald Knox
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds. -Joan Rivers
My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. -Emo Philips
Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb. -Yul Brynner
A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. -Chauncey Mitchell Depew
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs less. -Brendan Francis
Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus. -Bob Rubin
We all worry about the population explosion, but we don't worry about it at the right time. -Arthur Hoppe
I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know. -Garry Shandling