The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. 10% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.
The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a necessity.
If you survive marriage, you can survive anything.
Wives are like property, good only to show-off.
Stupidity is temporary, wives are permanent.
It's a funny thing when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Arranged marriage is like window-shopping, you get something that you never wanted in the first place.
My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.