If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?
My weak spot is laziness. Oh, I have a lot of weak spots: cookies, croissants.
If people make you sick maybe you should try cooking them for longer!
Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
When older people say, "Enjoy them while they are young." They are talking about your knees and hips not your kids!
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down!
Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car!
The dog is the god of frolic.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running!