If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them.

Humour and fun contribute to my total well-being

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.

Don't tell my mother I'm in politics: she thinks I play the piano in a whorehouse.

I not only use all the brains I have, but all I can borrow.

We are born princes and the civilizing process makes us frogs

Mario Andretti has retired from race car driving. That's a good thing. He's getting old. He ran his entire last race with his left blinker on.

I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it "Do not eat if seal is broken." So I opened up the box, and sure enough...

After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes.. He said, "No hablo ingles.

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