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  • The police just pulled me over and said, `Papers?`<br/>
I said, `Scissors, I win!` and drove off.<br/>
I think he wants a rematch - he's been chasing me for 45 minutes!Upload to Facebook
    The police just pulled me over and said, "Papers?"
    I said, "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.
    I think he wants a rematch - he's been chasing me for 45 minutes!
  • Some days I get a feeling that my wife married me only because she needed someone to carry all these shopping bags!Upload to Facebook
    Some days I get a feeling that my wife married me only because she needed someone to carry all these shopping bags!
  • My wife says I only have 2 faults.<br/>
I don't listen and something else!Upload to Facebook
    My wife says I only have 2 faults.
    I don't listen and something else!
  • It's been months since I bought the book, `How to scam people online.`<br/>
It still hasn't arrived yet!Upload to Facebook
    It's been months since I bought the book, "How to scam people online."
    It still hasn't arrived yet!
  • I met my wife on Tinder.<br/>
That was awkward. Her profile says, `Single`!Upload to Facebook
    I met my wife on Tinder.
    That was awkward. Her profile says, "Single"!
  • Guys, once you're married, your right to like or comment on other women's pictures on social media ceases.<br/>
Offenders will have to face serious repercussions!Upload to Facebook
    Guys, once you're married, your right to like or comment on other women's pictures on social media ceases.
    Offenders will have to face serious repercussions!
  • Difference between school and life: School teaches you lessons, and then gives you a test. Life gives you a test, and you learn the lessons!Upload to Facebook
    Difference between school and life: School teaches you lessons, and then gives you a test. Life gives you a test, and you learn the lessons!
  • If you hate your job, the solution is simple.<br/>
Get married. You'll not only love your job but also look forward to spending more time there!Upload to Facebook
    If you hate your job, the solution is simple.
    Get married. You'll not only love your job but also look forward to spending more time there!
  • Dad: You scored only 40/100 on the Maths test.<br/>
Kid: I scored 20 on the last test. So, that's 100% growth. Sharma Uncle's son scored 85 last time and 95 now. That's only 11.8% growth. You should be proud.<br/>
Dad: Yes, I am proud of you. One day you'll be India's Finance Minister!Upload to Facebook
    Dad: You scored only 40/100 on the Maths test.
    Kid: I scored 20 on the last test. So, that's 100% growth. Sharma Uncle's son scored 85 last time and 95 now. That's only 11.8% growth. You should be proud.
    Dad: Yes, I am proud of you. One day you'll be India's Finance Minister!
  • Jeeto: I think our neighbour died!<br/>
Santa: Who, Ray?<br/>
Jeeto: I don't think cheering is appropriate!Upload to Facebook
    Jeeto: I think our neighbour died!
    Santa: Who, Ray?
    Jeeto: I don't think cheering is appropriate!
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