Just heard about a dwarf who was pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low? |
The first 40 years of life are always the hardest! |
Now that I have lived through an actual plague, I totally understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are full of naked fat people laying on couches! |
I am suspicious of people who don't like dogs. But I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person! |
Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy, it doesn't mean that you are not headed for sunshine! |
Hate your job? Don't like spending long hours at work? The solution is simple, get married. You'll start loving your job! |
On March 10th, 1876, Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. Exactly after 5 minutes, he received a phone call from his wife asking him why he isn't answering her calls! |
I've got a condition that causes me to make terrible puns. It's a dad-ly disease! |
Why didn't 4 ask out 5? Because he was 2²! |
The 20s - Invite everyone! The more the merrier. The 50s - Do we have to have a party? I hate everyone! |