| Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx |
| She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. |
| Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. |
| Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. |
| Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. |
| Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money. |
| Humor is reason gone mad. |
| Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. |
| Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. |
| Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. |