-
![When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.]()
Upload to Facebook
~ Rodney DangerfieldWhen I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. -
![I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.]()
Upload to Facebook
~ Rodney DangerfieldI found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. -
~ Rodney DangerfieldI get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. -
![I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.]()
Upload to Facebook
~ Rodney DangerfieldI drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. -
~ Rodney DangerfieldWhat a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. -
![I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.]()
Upload to Facebook
~ Rodney DangerfieldI found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. -
~ Rodney DangerfieldMy wife had her driving test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other two guys jumped clear. -
~ Rodney DangerfieldI went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. -
~ Rodney DangerfieldI told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. -
~ Rodney DangerfieldI went to a fight the other night, and a Hockey game broke out.
