Husband: Honey, did I tell you that you cook well? Wife: Awww, no babe. Husband: So why do you keep cooking? |
The difference between booze and weed? Six drunk guys will start a fight. Six stoned guys will start a band! |
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing! |
Husband: I am going to the office today after lockdown. Do you need anything? Wife: No, that's enough! |
At the Olympics, I saw an athlete carrying a long stick and asked him: `Are you a pole vaulter?` He replied: `No I'm German but how do you know my name is Walter?` |
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer! |
I went back to an Army camp yesterday. Nothing much has changed since. The army is still the most confusing place: The toilet for private soldiers is marked "For General Use." However, the toilet for the Generals is marked "For Private Use." I am very confused. It's a Major problem! |
Most people probably apologize unnecessarily more often than they apologize when it is necessary! |
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon Fresh. I'll let you know! |
Theory of Relativity: Do not keep roasted peanuts in a transparent jar, they disappear fast. But if you keep roasted cashews in a transparent jar next to a peanut jar, peanuts last longer. However, if you add a third element... A Wine bottle nearby, all disappear in no time! |