Clean SMS

  • Husband: Honey, did I tell you that you cook well?<br/>
Wife: Awww, no babe.<br/>
Husband: So why do you keep cooking?Upload to Facebook
    Husband: Honey, did I tell you that you cook well?
    Wife: Awww, no babe.
    Husband: So why do you keep cooking?
  • The difference between booze and weed?<br/>
Six drunk guys will start a fight.<br/>
Six stoned guys will start a band!Upload to Facebook
    The difference between booze and weed?
    Six drunk guys will start a fight.
    Six stoned guys will start a band!
  • Why did the tomato turn red?<br/>
It saw the salad dressing!Upload to Facebook
    Why did the tomato turn red?
    It saw the salad dressing!
  • Husband: I am going to the office today after lockdown. Do you need anything?<br/>
Wife: No, that's enough!Upload to Facebook
    Husband: I am going to the office today after lockdown. Do you need anything?
    Wife: No, that's enough!
  • At the Olympics, I saw an athlete carrying a long stick and asked him: `Are you a pole vaulter?`<br/>
He replied: `No I'm German but how do you know my name is  Walter?`Upload to Facebook
    At the Olympics, I saw an athlete carrying a long stick and asked him: `Are you a pole vaulter?`
    He replied: `No I'm German but how do you know my name is Walter?`
  • I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for.<br/>
So far no one has given me a straight answer!Upload to Facebook
    I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for.
    So far no one has given me a straight answer!
  • I went back to an Army camp yesterday. Nothing much has changed since. The army is still the most confusing place:<br/>
The toilet for private soldiers is marked `For General Use.`<br/>
However, the toilet for the Generals is marked `For Private Use.`<br/>
I am very confused. It's a Major problem!Upload to Facebook
    I went back to an Army camp yesterday. Nothing much has changed since. The army is still the most confusing place:
    The toilet for private soldiers is marked "For General Use."
    However, the toilet for the Generals is marked "For Private Use."
    I am very confused. It's a Major problem!
  • Most people probably apologize unnecessarily more often than they apologize when it is necessary!Upload to Facebook
    Most people probably apologize unnecessarily more often than they apologize when it is necessary!
  • I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon Fresh.<br/>
I'll let you know!Upload to Facebook
    I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon Fresh.
    I'll let you know!
  • Theory of Relativity:<br/>
Do not keep roasted peanuts in a transparent jar, they disappear fast. But if you keep roasted cashews in a transparent jar next to a peanut jar, peanuts last longer. However, if you add a third element... A Wine bottle nearby, all disappear in no time!Upload to Facebook
    Theory of Relativity:
    Do not keep roasted peanuts in a transparent jar, they disappear fast. But if you keep roasted cashews in a transparent jar next to a peanut jar, peanuts last longer. However, if you add a third element... A Wine bottle nearby, all disappear in no time!
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