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Police: Why did you call 100?
Santa: My wife went shopping and hasn't returned.
Police: That's not an emergency.
Santa: It is! She had my credit card! -
If you want to get married, marry your own girlfriend...
Otherwise, your family will find someone else's girlfriend for you! -
![Husband: Why are you always on your phone?<br />
Wife: Because it's the only way I can get intelligent conversation around here!]()
Upload to Facebook Husband: Why are you always on your phone?
Wife: Because it's the only way I can get intelligent conversation around here! -
![Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.<br />
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.<br />
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.<br />
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving!]()
Upload to Facebook Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving! -
![They say wives don't accept their mistakes.<br />
My wife accepts her mistake daily by saying, `I have made a big mistake by marrying you!`]()
Upload to Facebook They say wives don't accept their mistakes.
My wife accepts her mistake daily by saying, "I have made a big mistake by marrying you!" -
![According to statistics, girls tend to find a guy like their father.<br />
That's why their mothers cry at their daughters' weddings!]()
Upload to Facebook According to statistics, girls tend to find a guy like their father.
That's why their mothers cry at their daughters' weddings! -
![Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of them never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them!]()
Upload to Facebook Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of them never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them! -
![In a Church:<br />
Man: Father, all day I hear a voice telling me what to do. Am I possessed by the devil?<br />
Father: No son, you are married!]()
Upload to Facebook In a Church:
Man: Father, all day I hear a voice telling me what to do. Am I possessed by the devil?
Father: No son, you are married! -
![My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down.<br/>
Told her it's because I can't stand doing it!]()
Upload to Facebook My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down.
Told her it's because I can't stand doing it! -
![Whoever said `your harshest critic is yourself` obviously wasn't married!]()
Upload to Facebook Whoever said "your harshest critic is yourself" obviously wasn't married!
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