| Barley - makes BEER. Corn - makes WHISKEY. Grapes - make WINE. Potatoes - make VODKA. Agave - makes TEQUILA. Rice - makes SAKE. Sugarcane - makes RUM. You can't get drunk without FARMERS! So Save FARMERS! |
| When alcohol doesn't count: 1. When it's sunny 2. Your birthday 3. Friday nights 4. All weekend 5. If you're already drunk |
| Money doesn't buy happiness unless you spend it on whiskey! |
| Whiskey does not make you fat... it makes you lean... against tables, chairs, walls, floors and pretty girls! |
| It's always better to choose your company before you choose your drink! |
| Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not! |
| "I think a bottle of wine will make me feel better" has cost me a lot of money so far in life! |
| Sometimes liquor is the only thing that can lubricate the grindstone we call life! |
| It's strange how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible but 8 beers are so damn easy! |
| There's a reason why 'sober' and 'so bored' sound almost exactly the same! |
