| Santa calls in sick informing his boss, "I have rectal glaucoma". "What's that?", asks the boss. Santa replies, "I just can't see my ass coming in to work today". |
| Rajinikanth in Tamil remake of Aamir Khan's Ghulam: Rajini runs on a railway track. The train is at a distance of one meter. So what happens? Obviously the train jumps off the track! |
| 12-12-12. Rajinikanth turns 62 today. Dear Birthday, Happy Rajinikanth to you! |
| At the site of an active volcano: New geologist: I just saw Rajinikanth covered in towel pass by me. Old geologist: Yeah, he comes here evey weekend. New geologist: What for? And that too in a towel? Old geologist: For a sauna bath inside the hot steaming volcano. |
| Santa: I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. Banta: What did you forget? Santa: I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 2 minutes. |
| Banta: That's an awful gash you've got on your forehead! How did you get it? Santa: I bit myself. Banta: How the hell did you manage to bite yourself on the forehead? Santa: I stood on a chair. |
| Breaking News: Rajinikanth died in the morning. However, he is fine now. |
| Pappu, while fillng out an application form comes across a question, "If there's an emergency, notify ---". He asks Bunty as to what shall he fill in it. Bunty: Your parents' name. Pappu: Isn't it better if I put 'DOCTOR', what're my parents going to do? |
| "Gangnam Style" is the result of Rajinikanth once practising horse riding for a shot in the movie, without a horse. |
| Banta: You are shivering. Are you feeling cold? Santa: No, I'm on 'Vibrate' mode. |
