Husband: Why are you always on your phone? Wife: Because it's the only way I can get intelligent conversation around here! |
Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate. Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier. Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes. Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving! |
They say wives don't accept their mistakes. My wife accepts her mistake daily by saying, "I have made a big mistake by marrying you!" |
According to statistics, girls tend to find a guy like their father. That's why their mothers cry at their daughters' weddings! |
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of them never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them! |
In a Church: Man: Father, all day I hear a voice telling me what to do. Am I possessed by the devil? Father: No son, you are married! |
My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down. Told her it's because I can't stand doing it! |
Whoever said "your harshest critic is yourself" obviously wasn't married! |
I'm a perfectionist when it comes to making my wife angry! |
My wife is very simple and has only two permanent problems: 1. Nothing to wear 2. No place to keep all her clothes |