| If your wife has a friend that annoys you, don't tell your wife to stop being friends with her. Just casually mention how pretty she is! |
| Husband: I would love to see you in something long and flowing tonight. Wife: Awww like a new dress? Husband: No, A river! |
| Dear Husbands, If your wife is upset with you for a reason unknown to you, just apologize to her. Or face the consequences! |
| Son: You know, cockroaches can live for 9 days without their heads before they starve to death. Wife, looking at me: That's nothing, some people I know have been living without a brain for more than 30 years! |
| My wife told me that she has a throat infection and the doctor advised her to take a voice rest for a couple of days. That doctor is my favorite person now! |
| The wife called the husband as he was having a drink at the bar. Wife: I've cooked dinner, and if you're not home within 20 minutes I'm going to feed it to the dog. Husband: Don't punish the dog for my mistake! |
| A man may be a fool and never realize it. Unless, of course, he is married! |
| "This month your wife will speak less." It has nothing to do with astrology... it's just that this month only 28 days! |
| Husband calls his wife: Wife: Bhonko! Husband: Kabhi To Thodi Tameez Aur Izzat Se Baat Kar Liya Karo. Wife: Bhonkiye! |
| When my wife starts fighting with me, I see and start to believe in flying saucers... and plates... and glasses! |
