| It's my wife's 60th birthday next week. I asked her what she would like. She said, a divorce, but I wasn't planning on spending that much! |
| Wife: My husband is like a 1960 model Cadillac. Wife's friend: Wow, you mean vintage? Wife: No, very difficult to get started, emits poisonous gases & most of the time doesn't work! |
| Before getting married, men should ensure that they're strong enough to lead a successful married life by trying to pull the blanket to their side from their future wives! |
| Successful marriage on social media is all about gifts, romantic dinners and walks along the beach. Successful marriage in real life is all about care, compassion, respect, trust and most importantly, forgiveness! |
| Pro Tip: Struggling to get your wife's attention this weekend? Just sit on the sofa and look comfortable & happy! |
| My wife just said: "You never listen!" I thought that was a weird way to start a conversation! |
| Floppy disk: 1.4 MB USB: 64 GB Hard drive: 1 TB My wife, remembering my mistakes: 10000 TB |
| Pro Tip: Confused as to what gift to buy for your wife's birthday? Tell her you already got something and make her guess. She'll list the things she wants one by one! |
| When a married man says he's good in bed, what he means is that he doesn't disturb his wife by snoring! |
| My wife just looked at me & told me I'm looking smart. She also brought me coffee & some snacks. Please guys keep a tab on me. I have never been more scared in my life! |
