| You're not a complete husband until your wife is upset with you, for a reason that you don't even understand! |
| All these wonderful years of marriage taught our kids two valuable life lessons: 1. Mom is always right 2. Dad is always wrong |
| What wife says: You have to learn to communicate! What wife means: Just agree with me, you idiot! |
| The kind of stress that I get from my wife watching me wash the dishes while she waits to inspect them is inexplicable! |
| Having a wife is a stress reliever as you need not worry if you are right or wrong. You are always wrong! |
| Whenever my wife asks me where WE should have our dinner, what she really wants me to do is to guess where SHE wants to have dinner! |
| Pro Tip: Marriage works perfectly when both the husband and the wife decide that the wife should decide everything! |
| Marriage teaches you a lot of things. For example, my wife has so far taught me in 47 different ways why I am always wrong! |
| When my wife asks me if she looks fat in her new dress, simply saying 'No' isn't enough. I've to give her a couple of solid reasons why I think she's not looking fat. A 30 minute Power Point Presentation & an analysis in Excel are also expected! |
| What wife says: I don't want to talk about it now. What wife means: I'm still building up the steam, you just wait! |
