| Some people are like blisters, they don't show up until the work is done. |
| Mondays are God's punishment for what we did on the weekend. |
| Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? |
| Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? |
| A lawyer is someone who writes an eighty-page document and calls it a brief! |
| I am so so broke that I can't even pay attention. |
| Acupuncture: a jab well done. |
| Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. |
| After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in? |
| Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. |