| It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road. |
| A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner."Much obliged," said he, pushing the plate aside, "I am not accustomed to take my wine in pills. |
| One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. |
| This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought. |
| If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while. |
| I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it. |
| First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. |
| O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should, with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into beasts! |
| If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim. |
| If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic. |