| I envy people who drink-at least they know what to blame everything on. |
| The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol. |
| Wine is how classy people get wasted. |
| Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. |
| Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. |
| I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. |
| I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. |
| I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it. |
| You don't have to be a beer drinker to play darts, but it helps. |
| Your body is a temple, but keep the spirits on the outside. |