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Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something bigger and heavier. -
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. -
I tried sniffing Coke once, and the ice cubes got stuck in my nose. -
You can't change a man... unless he's in diapers! -
![Today is the first day of the rest of the mess.]()
Upload to Facebook Today is the first day of the rest of the mess. -
A miss in the car is worth two in the engine. -
At 65, you begin to regret the sins you did not commit. -
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at Maths! -
![Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.]()
Upload to Facebook Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. -
![Most rules of thumb suck.]()
Upload to Facebook Most rules of thumb suck.
