| A family consists of a husband who gets an idea, the kids who say it can't be done, and the wife who does it. |
| Often a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. |
| On anniversaries the wise husband may forget the past... but better never forget the present. |
| Two very rich people got divorced, and their lawyers lived happily ever after. |
| I'm the man of this house and I have my wife's permission to say so. |
| My wife says my lovemaking is like a news bulletin. Brief, unexpected and usually a disaster. |
| The ideal husband is the one who understands what his wife did not say. |
| Marriage changes passion...suddenly you are in bed with a relative. |
| One woman's hobby may be another woman's hubby. |
| Don't criticize your wife... if she were perfect, she would have married much better than you. |