| Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. |
| No man is as clever as his mother thinks he is or as dumb as his mother-in-law thinks he is. |
| An engagement is a period of urge on the verge of a merge. |
| If a man thinks it is impossible to be wrong all the time, then he has never been married. |
| A man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success |
| Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed. |
| One thing a man learns from an argument with a woman is how to be a good loser. |
| My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me. |
| Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. |
| Husbands wish they had as much fun out as their wives think they do. |