| Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is husband! |
| I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been giving me lately! |
| I had a good wife once. Then she went home to her husband. |
| Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting. |
| Faithfull husbands and wives will go straight to heaven... because they have already gone through hell. |
| On anniversaries the wise husband always forgets the past but never the present. |
| Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without. |
| If you think your wife's jewellery is an investment, try selling a few pieces. |
| Bigamy: one wife too many. Monogamy: same thing. |
| Don't marry for money - you can borrow it cheaper. |