| Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash. |
| Marriage, the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. |
| Marriage, in life, is like a duel in the midst of a battle. |
| I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married. |
| My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me. |
| It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. |
| In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. |
| My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. |
| You know what I did before I married?? Anything I wanted to. |
| The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. |
