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![I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.]()
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~ Jarod KintzI consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning. -
![I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables.]()
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~ Jarod KintzI want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables. -
![Unless I'm at a wedding, I don't like veiled threats.]()
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~ Jarod KintzUnless I'm at a wedding, I don't like veiled threats. -
~ Jarod KintzI wear a wedding ring, though I'm neither married nor engaged. I do it to warn off predators like cougars. And grizzly bears. -
~ Jarod KintzI cried during my wedding, but my wife did not. That's natural, because I was losing my freedom, and she was gaining a slave. -
~ Jarod KintzI believe in a traditional wedding, with one guy, one girl, and one dad with a shotgun. -
~ Jarod KintzPatience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers. -
~ Jarod KintzMy birthday is on a holiday, I just have to wait until I die and they commemorate me. -
~ Jarod KintzA shopping cart flipped upside down forms a cage that I use to protect myself from consumerism. -
~ Jarod KintzI want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married.
