| I invented the cordless extension cord. |
| I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. |
| Don`t hate me because I am good, Hate me because I know it! |
| Ambivalent? Well, yes and no. |
| Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. |
| I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. |
| I`m responsible for what I say. I am not responsible for what you understand. |
| The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. |
| By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. |
| Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. |