Clapping is literally just slapping yourself because you like something! |
Nothing puts you in a bad mood like someone asking why you're in such a bad mood! |
If you see me talking to myself, do not disturb, I'm having a staff meeting! |
Being negative is great! You're either always right or pleasantly surprised! |
On my tombstone I want it to say: What a terrible place to end up for a guy who hates the outdoors! |
The age when you are most useless (0-4 yo) is also the age when you get the most compliments! |
Monopoly is so realistic that only one person can have fun! |
People who can fall asleep quickly freaks me out. I mean don't they have thoughts? |
Both concrete and glass are mostly made of sand which makes skyscrapers just really tall sandcastles! |
Laugh at your problems; Everybody else does! |