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![Patient: Doctor, over the last three days I have followed your instructions. I have not eaten any food added with preservative colour or even sprayed. I have not even touched them.<br />
Doctor: Great! So how do you feel now?<br />
Patient: Hungry! Extremely hungry!]()
Upload to Facebook Patient: Doctor, over the last three days I have followed your instructions. I have not eaten any food added with preservative colour or even sprayed. I have not even touched them.
Doctor: Great! So how do you feel now?
Patient: Hungry! Extremely hungry! -
![How do you make gold soup?<br />
You put 24 carrots in it!]()
Upload to Facebook How do you make gold soup?
You put 24 carrots in it! -
![Customer: I'd like your mildest roast, please.<br/>
Barista: You have got really average ears!]()
Upload to Facebook Customer: I'd like your mildest roast, please.
Barista: You have got really average ears! -
![I pointed towards two old drunks sitting across the table in the bar and told my friend `We'll be like that in another 10 years.`<br/>
He said, `That's a mirror, you idiot!`]()
Upload to Facebook I pointed towards two old drunks sitting across the table in the bar and told my friend "We'll be like that in another 10 years."
He said, "That's a mirror, you idiot!" -
![The filthiest pub I was ever in was called The Fiddle.<br/>
It was a vile inn!]()
Upload to Facebook The filthiest pub I was ever in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn! -
![Maybe we don't lose our socks, maybe our socks get a divorce and the one you have is the one who got to keep you!]()
Upload to Facebook Maybe we don't lose our socks, maybe our socks get a divorce and the one you have is the one who got to keep you! -
![Parenting is such hard work.<br/>
But you know what? At the end of the day?<br/>
You are exhausted from all the hard work!]()
Upload to Facebook Parenting is such hard work.
But you know what? At the end of the day?
You are exhausted from all the hard work! -
![My inflatable house got a puncture last night.<br/>
Now, I'm living in a flat!]()
Upload to Facebook My inflatable house got a puncture last night.
Now, I'm living in a flat! -
![I tried donating blood today. Never again. Too many questions.<br/>
`Who's blood is this?`, `How did you get it?`, `Why is it in a bucket?`]()
Upload to Facebook I tried donating blood today. Never again. Too many questions.
`Who's blood is this?", "How did you get it?", `Why is it in a bucket?" -
![As a kid, I wasn't a fan of facial hair.<br/>
But then it started to grow on me!]()
Upload to Facebook As a kid, I wasn't a fan of facial hair.
But then it started to grow on me!
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