| Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...' |
| Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. |
| When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose! |
| Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth. |
| Thou shalt not commit adultery, unless in the mood. |
| Stop calling yourself hot. The only thing you turn on is the microwave. |
| When two's company, three's the result! |
| Open books, not legs, blow minds, not guys. |
| The unpopular girls in movies are always really pretty. |
| If you don't want to be a Mum, be prepared to let him use your Bum!! |