| "It's the good girls that keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time." -Tallulah Bankhead |
| Friends are like BRAs...close to your heart, and full of support. |
| Definition of an orgasm: Gland Finale. |
| Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed? |
| If size doesn't matter, why I am so popular? |
| If I wanted to listen to an asshole I would have farted. |
| Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex. |
| A penis is the lightest thing in the world...even a thought can raise it. |
| Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped |
| Q: What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say to clients as they are leaving? A: Thanks for coming. |