Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control !!
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest
My boss says I could be replaced by a machine...funny, that's what my wife says
Love thy neighbour, but be sure her husband is away
I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in
Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go anywhere!
Gettin' married is like getting into a bath tub. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Guns don't kill people... Husbands who come home early kill people
I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
