Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose!
Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
Thou shalt not commit adultery, unless in the mood.
Stop calling yourself hot. The only thing you turn on is the microwave.
When two's company, three's the result!
Open books, not legs, blow minds, not guys.
The unpopular girls in movies are always really pretty.
If you don't want to be a Mum, be prepared to let him use your Bum!!
