Sober: A state of being in which it is nearly impossible for two incompatible people to have sex.

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Cooking is a lot like masturbation - you only do it when there's no woman around!

Flirting is a promise of sexual intercourse without a guarantee.

Everything takes longer that it should except sex.

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Girlfriends cum and go... but masturbation is forever!

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Since sex got easier to get, love got harder to find!

I single handedly figured out sex.

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A baby is nine months interest on a small deposit!

Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work!

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Has anyone else noticed that mirrors look really sexy?

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