Sober: A state of being in which it is nearly impossible for two incompatible people to have sex.

Cooking is a lot like masturbation - you only do it when there's no woman around!
Flirting is a promise of sexual intercourse without a guarantee.
Everything takes longer that it should except sex.

Girlfriends cum and go... but masturbation is forever!

Since sex got easier to get, love got harder to find!
I single handedly figured out sex.

A baby is nine months interest on a small deposit!
Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work!

Has anyone else noticed that mirrors look really sexy?