I was born with a deformed penis. As soon as sex is mentioned, it rears its ugly head.
Sex is like a vacation. It never lasts long enough.
Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom while getting a raise.
I've got a 12-inch penis, but I don't use it as a rule.
Don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die!
I hate it when women get so angry on their periods. It's just an ovary action.
My figure used to be my fame. Now my fame has spread.
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
I had an erection when I woke up this morning... but I beat it single-handedly.
