Mature Jokes

A ninety year old man lived in a rest home and got a weekend pass. He stopped in his favorite bar and sat at the end and ordered a drink. He noticed a seventy year old woman at the other end of the bar and he told the bartender to buy the lovely young lady...

A married woman complains to her mother: Maaa, I`m divorcing Rajpal...

Mother: Why, what happend???
Daughter: All he wants is just sex... My asshole is now the size of 1 rupee coin.....!!!!! It used to be the size of...

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married...

A class 5 teacher asked her students to make rhymes with their names.
My name is Sam, When I grow up to be a man, I want to go to Russia and Japan, If I can, If I can, If I can...

How to Shower like a woman: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long robe.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas...

There was an soccer player anxious to make it into one of the Premier league teams. When he found out about the trials being held he held a party with his chums. One of them brought along some Marijuana which they all used. The next...

Fred and Jim are having a quiet beer one night when Fred announces that he`s going to divorce his wife. "Good grief," says Jim, "You and Sue are the happiest couple I know. Why on earth would you want to divorce...

As a hooker was dressing, she turned to her customer and asked, "Have you just gotten out of prison?"
"Yeah," the guy replied.
"How did you guess? Is it because I wanted to have sex from...

Badi Dukhi Si Halat Mein Ek Mareej Sex Ke Doctor Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola: Doctor Sahab, Mera Khada Nahi Hota.
Doctor Usko Check Karta Hai... Phir 5 Mintues Ke Baad Apni Ek Sunder Aur Hot Si Nurse Ko Andar Bulata Hai....

A farmer`s wife was at her lawyer`s getting advice about a divorce. "He makes excessive sexual demands on me, Mr. Jones."
"How do you mean?"
"Well, Mr. Jones," says the farmer`s wife, "this morning I was looking...