Mature Jokes

A nine-year-old boy was shipwrecked on a desert island. Ten years passed without him seeing another living soul. Then, one day, walking along the beach, he discovered a beautiful young woman washed up on the beach...

Eyes Ke Operation Ke Baad Doctor Ki Fees Bachane Ke Chakkar Mein Apna Banta Bola: Doctor Saab Mujhe Kuch Dikh Nahi Raha.
Doctor: Banta Ji Apni Aankhien Band Kar Lijiye Aur Phir Dobara Se Dheere Dheere Kholiye...

A family was at the dinner table. Son asked his father: Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?
Surprised father answered: Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs. In her 20`s, a woman`s are like melons...

Little Johnny was sitting on the fence, watching a bull with two cows. The preacher walked up and asked Little Johnnie what he was doing. Johnny replied, "I`m watching that bull screw that black cow."
The preacher was shocked, "John, you shouldn`t use that word...

Snow White was sleepy and told the seven dwarfs she was going to bed. After the usual seven "Good Nights!" she went upstairs. Immediately, all seven dwarfs rushed outside and stood on each other`s shoulders beneath her bedroom...

Two Gays decided to have a baby. They mix their sperms and have a surrogate mother inseminated with it. A baby is born.
They rush to the hospital. 12 babies were in the ward - 11 were crying, only 1 was smiling...

While walking through the park, a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?"
"I`m listening to the music...

There was a farmer out in the country, a meek little guy who had a speech problem and couldn`t talk right. He got his first telephone, the kind that hangs on the kitchen wall and has to be cranked to get the operator. Soon after...

John and Brian are out and about. John notices that Brian is a bit pissy during the evening, so he finally brings up. "Yo, man, you`ve been cranky all damned day. What the hell is wrong with you. You`re acting like...

An old man said to his doctor, "Doc, tomorrow`s my eightieth birthday. I want to do it just one more time before I die, so I`ve hired a hooker for the night. Can you give me something to get it up?"
The doctor smiled, "Normally, I don`t prescribe...