Mature Jokes

Johnny wanted to screw, Margie, a girl in his class.....but she belonged to someone else... one day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I`ll give you 50 dollars...

Banta was suffering from a terrible headache, so he went to see his doctor, a young recent Bridge course medical graduate. The young doctor listened to him carefully and told him...

A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had...

A couple that had been married for 20 years, every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured...

At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words `sex` and `love.`
The woman wrote: "When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love...

A woman awaiting surgery was lying naked on a gurney in the hallway when a man in a white coat came by, lifted the sheet, looked for a moment, then disappeared...

A working mother suspected her teenage son of bringing home girls after school. So, one morning she decided to buy a parrot. Entering the pet store, she asked the owner if he had any talking...

A guy is sitting in a bar, absolutely drooling at a pretty young woman in her short, pink mini-dress. Using the time honored ice breaker, he sends her a drink. "How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up...

Sadie and Yetta, two widows are talking. Sadie, "That nice Morris Finkleman asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give...

"First," said the playboy, "I`m going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose."
"Oh no you`re not," said Anni.
"Then I`ll take you to dinner and ply you with...