Mature Jokes

Police officer George and woman Police officer Mary and their police dog had been assigned to walk a beat. They had been out only a short time then Mary said, "Damn, I was running late this morning...

An ad found in the Canberra Times, Personal Section: This bloke should have gotten a few replies simply for taking the time to think of this!
Wanted A tall well-built woman with good...

Praful Bhai was suffering from a terrible headache, so he went to see his doctor, a young, recent Bihari medical graduate.
The young Bihari doctor listened to him carefully and told him...

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi! You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I`d really rather have a job....

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon `quickie` with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all...

John was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He`d been playing outside with the other kids,when he came into the house and asked her...

Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
Randier than a sailor who`s been six months at sea,
Never let a cricketer`s hand an inch above your...

Mr. Dickson asked his 4th graders one day if anyone knew how to put 2 holes into 1 hole. Since no one was able to answer the question, he told the kids to go home and...

Ek call girl apni bacony se whistle bajate hue, ek 65 saal ke aadmi se bolti hai: "Uncle, aap ek baar to aao aur try karo na!"
Uncle: "Rehne do, mein KAR nahi paunga...

Jack meets a call girl on the street. Jack: Come on Babe, let`s go in the alleyway and get it on. I`ve got fifteen bucks.
Call Girl: Fifteen Bucks? You`re crazy? For fifteen bucks...