Mature Jokes

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, are in Wyoming. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he buys them and wears them home, walking proudly...

The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks, "What do you like best about it, class? Let`s start with you, Robert."
Robert: "The artwork....

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite sometime. She was afraid that there might be something wrong with her, so she decided to...

A soldier ran up to a nun, out of breath, and asked, "Please may I hide under your skirt? I`ll explain later."
The nun agreed. A moment later two millitary police ran up and asked...

Eight year old Little Johnny asked his mother the age-old question:
"How did I get here?"
His mother told him, "God sent you."
"And my cousin...

A young lesbian goes to her gynecologist for her yearly pelvic examination. She puts on the paper gown and awaits him to come into the exam room. He instructs her...

Always marry a woman with small palms. It makes your dick look bigger!
Life without friends is like boobs without nipples... POINTLESS!
Screw a girl and she`ll love you...

Mary, a shy virgin was discussing her worries about her up-coming marriage to Paddy, with the parish priest.
"He dropped his trousers last night Father, he has a thing between his legs...

I was walking in the park one bright sunny Sunday afternoon, when I noticed a cute little girl out walking her dog. As she approached me on the path, she looked about...

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newly-wed couple wanted to join a church. The priest said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must...